I have been distracted these past few days...I went to a conference in Houston with my mom last week entitled "The 14th Annual Chronic Illness and Disability: Transition from Pediatric to Adult-Based Care Conference." And though, it was a great event, filled with much useful information for the future, it planted a seed of fear in my heart.
You see, our precious Brianne turns 18 in May, and though I have been aware that some things will change at this significant milestone, I was either unaware (or in denial) as to how much will change as our "little girl" becomes an adult. At some point during this transition between 18-21 years old EVERYTHING changes: her doctors, her caregivers, her hospital, her insurance, her government benefits, her schooling, etc...
We even have to hire an attorney, and go to court to become her legal guardian...who knew?! Well actually, that is one of the few things that I did know.
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to become more informed as we begin this transition process. I believe that in the end it will make the journey easier, but right now, it has left me with more questions than answers...
Will we be able to find an adult Primary Care Physician that loves and cares for Bri as well as our beloved Dr. Rogers?
Will she continue to get the quality of care that she has received from TX Scottish Rite Hospital for Children and Children's Medical Center Dallas?
What will she do when she "ages out" of the school system?
Will we be able to afford her continued care?
What if something happens to Wade or I?
As I am tempted to worry myself to a frazzle, I am reminded of Jesus' words in Matthew 6, verses 31-34,
So do not worry, saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
While I was jogging this morning, this Matt Redman song came on the radio, and I felt like the Lord was speaking it directly to me:
You Never Let Go
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
(Chorus 2x's)
Instead of choosing fear and worry, I WILL CHOOSE to trust the Lord with Brianne's future!
I remember the early days of her life when I could not fathom how I would ever cope with all that was before me...I didn't know if she would survive? And to be perfectly honest, I didn't know if I would survive? And here we are, nearly 18 years later, because HE NEVER LET GO OF US!
Whatever you are facing today, I pray that the Lord will remind you (as He has reminded me) of His faithfulness in the past, and He will give you courage to face your future!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
It Takes a Village!
Wow, my husband has only been gone 72 hours, and I am completely exhausted! I'm sure it didn't help that this was the week for the semi-annual Children's Clothing Consignment Sale that I have participated in faithfully for more than 10 years. It's a lot of work to be involved, but has literally saved our family thousands of dollars in clothing, toys, and home furnishing expenses over the years. When I realized that Wade was going to be gone on a business trip this week, it was not even an option for me to miss the sale.
Instead I put together a plan to try and cover all my bases. You know what they say about "the best laid plans?" Well, it certainly has not been without challenges. Bryant was late for both soccer practices this week, and had to be picked up (by me) walking in the dark to my mom's house after practice one night. Brianne's wheelchair got stuck in the back of the van at our school drop off (Wade usually takes her to school in his truck), and I required the help of a young teacher to get it out. I forgot to give Brianne's meds to her before school one morning, and only realized it an hour before the end of the school day. And unfortunately I have "lost it" emotionally with my kids on more than one occasion. And did I mention that it's only been 72 hours?
In spite of all the challenges, this picture could have been much more bleak without the help of so many wonderful family and friends who have stepped up to help me. My friend Carrie has taken Bryant to school each day to give me more time to get Bri ready. She also took both Brooke and Bryant to AWANAS and Youth Group AND brought them home. My friend Johanna picked Bryant up at school and brought him to me at the Consignment Sale 25 miles away. Brianne has received wonderful love from our home care nurse Chris when I've had to be away. My mom came and slept at my house until I got home late last night, and has also helped me with Bri's care. Our neighbors, the Henry's, picked Brooke up from her volleyball game this week, and also brought us homemade chocolate chip cookies "out of the blue". How did they know that sugar and chocolate were exactly what I needed to help maintain my sanity this week??!! And Brooke has received rides home from volleyball practice from her teammate's mom.
All of this help in the past 3 days has caused me to realize 2 things:
1. My husband is AWESOME! It's amazing what a little perspective has done once again to help me appreciate the person closest to me. There are so many things that Wade does each day that I don't even realize until he's gone...we truly do work as a "team," and when my teammate is not here, it is nearly impossible to keep all the balls in the air.
2. Sometimes we need to ASK for help! I am completely blessed by the amazing support group that the Lord has put in my life to "have my back" when I am in need. It truly does "take a village to raise a child." And I would add to that, "It takes a village to transport a child to everywhere on the planet that they need to be in any given week."
Feeling extremely grateful and counting down the hours until my Honey returns!!
Instead I put together a plan to try and cover all my bases. You know what they say about "the best laid plans?" Well, it certainly has not been without challenges. Bryant was late for both soccer practices this week, and had to be picked up (by me) walking in the dark to my mom's house after practice one night. Brianne's wheelchair got stuck in the back of the van at our school drop off (Wade usually takes her to school in his truck), and I required the help of a young teacher to get it out. I forgot to give Brianne's meds to her before school one morning, and only realized it an hour before the end of the school day. And unfortunately I have "lost it" emotionally with my kids on more than one occasion. And did I mention that it's only been 72 hours?
In spite of all the challenges, this picture could have been much more bleak without the help of so many wonderful family and friends who have stepped up to help me. My friend Carrie has taken Bryant to school each day to give me more time to get Bri ready. She also took both Brooke and Bryant to AWANAS and Youth Group AND brought them home. My friend Johanna picked Bryant up at school and brought him to me at the Consignment Sale 25 miles away. Brianne has received wonderful love from our home care nurse Chris when I've had to be away. My mom came and slept at my house until I got home late last night, and has also helped me with Bri's care. Our neighbors, the Henry's, picked Brooke up from her volleyball game this week, and also brought us homemade chocolate chip cookies "out of the blue". How did they know that sugar and chocolate were exactly what I needed to help maintain my sanity this week??!! And Brooke has received rides home from volleyball practice from her teammate's mom.
All of this help in the past 3 days has caused me to realize 2 things:
1. My husband is AWESOME! It's amazing what a little perspective has done once again to help me appreciate the person closest to me. There are so many things that Wade does each day that I don't even realize until he's gone...we truly do work as a "team," and when my teammate is not here, it is nearly impossible to keep all the balls in the air.
2. Sometimes we need to ASK for help! I am completely blessed by the amazing support group that the Lord has put in my life to "have my back" when I am in need. It truly does "take a village to raise a child." And I would add to that, "It takes a village to transport a child to everywhere on the planet that they need to be in any given week."
Feeling extremely grateful and counting down the hours until my Honey returns!!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Our Father Knows Best!
I have wandered to this blog site a couple times in the past week, hoping that I would have some deep inspirational thought to pour out on the page. And all I can think is "I have not posted anything since May 13th...I was afraid that I was going to do this."
I could get very self deprecating for how I have "failed" at this blogging thing, but as my husband likes to remind me repeatedly, "Life is about starting and starting over!" So, here I am starting over. Maybe we could just say that my blog has taken a looooong summer vacation.
I received an email from a friend in WI recently who said, "Just read through about 10 of your more recent blogs--needing the encouragement and strength in my own life to run the race that God has set before me." This was just the nudge I needed to put my hand to the plow (well actually the keypad) once again.
It has been an emotionally heavy summer for me in a lot of ways. My February post "This World is Not our Home" was only the beginning of several more tragedies to rock our little town with more loss, including the suicide of a recent high school graduate.
My mom and I flew to Michigan recently to say "goodbye" to my mom's best friend (and the one who led her to Christ nearly 50 years ago). Loretta was in the end stages of liver cirrhosis, and lost her battle just a couple weeks after our visit.
Just 2 days before Loretta's "graduation day" a dear friend from Mercy Ships who was battling for several years with cancer lost her battle as well. For both of these precious saints, it was a long and difficult journey. They both had asked and believed for healing, and yet still they died.
Where is God in all of this?
My reading from Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment" spoke directly to this yesterday.
The problem with this world is that it doesn't fit. Oh, it will do for now, but it isn't tailor-made. We were made to live with God, but on earth we live by faith. We were made to live forever, but on this earth we live but for a moment...
We must trust God. We must trust not only that He does what is best but that He knows what is ahead. Ponder the words of Isaiah 57:1-2: "The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace." (TLB)
My, what a thought. God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. Could death be God's grace? Could the funeral wreath be God's safety ring? As horrible as the grave may be, could it be God's protection from the future?
Trust in God, Jesus urges, and trust in me.
I certainly don't understand God's ways, and His reasons for supernaturally healing some, and allowing others to die? But I do know this...He knows best, and I can trust Him!!
I could get very self deprecating for how I have "failed" at this blogging thing, but as my husband likes to remind me repeatedly, "Life is about starting and starting over!" So, here I am starting over. Maybe we could just say that my blog has taken a looooong summer vacation.
I received an email from a friend in WI recently who said, "Just read through about 10 of your more recent blogs--needing the encouragement and strength in my own life to run the race that God has set before me." This was just the nudge I needed to put my hand to the plow (well actually the keypad) once again.
It has been an emotionally heavy summer for me in a lot of ways. My February post "This World is Not our Home" was only the beginning of several more tragedies to rock our little town with more loss, including the suicide of a recent high school graduate.
My mom and I flew to Michigan recently to say "goodbye" to my mom's best friend (and the one who led her to Christ nearly 50 years ago). Loretta was in the end stages of liver cirrhosis, and lost her battle just a couple weeks after our visit.
Just 2 days before Loretta's "graduation day" a dear friend from Mercy Ships who was battling for several years with cancer lost her battle as well. For both of these precious saints, it was a long and difficult journey. They both had asked and believed for healing, and yet still they died.
Where is God in all of this?
My reading from Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment" spoke directly to this yesterday.
The problem with this world is that it doesn't fit. Oh, it will do for now, but it isn't tailor-made. We were made to live with God, but on earth we live by faith. We were made to live forever, but on this earth we live but for a moment...
We must trust God. We must trust not only that He does what is best but that He knows what is ahead. Ponder the words of Isaiah 57:1-2: "The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace." (TLB)
My, what a thought. God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. Could death be God's grace? Could the funeral wreath be God's safety ring? As horrible as the grave may be, could it be God's protection from the future?
Trust in God, Jesus urges, and trust in me.
I certainly don't understand God's ways, and His reasons for supernaturally healing some, and allowing others to die? But I do know this...He knows best, and I can trust Him!!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Becoming a Mother Was Costly!
I don't even know where to begin today...I have been reading Facebook posts from mothers who are sharing their joys of parenting, as well as posts from others who find Mothers Day particularly painful, as they desperately long to be mothers and can't understand why not??
I am following a couple blogs of women who have recently lost children, and I can't get through a single post without the tears flowing freely. Today is no different. There is so much pain in this world!!
Both being a mother and not being a mother can be filled with such loss!
I am feeling the mixed emotions of my journey into motherhood today. What should have been the most wonderful experience of our lives...the birth of our first child...was filled with so much pain! Our precious Brianne was born by emergency C-section at just 26 weeks gestation. She weighed 14 ounces and measured 10 inches long. When I awoke from anesthesia, I was shown this Polaroid picture of my precious baby girl.
I am following a couple blogs of women who have recently lost children, and I can't get through a single post without the tears flowing freely. Today is no different. There is so much pain in this world!!
Both being a mother and not being a mother can be filled with such loss!
I am feeling the mixed emotions of my journey into motherhood today. What should have been the most wonderful experience of our lives...the birth of our first child...was filled with so much pain! Our precious Brianne was born by emergency C-section at just 26 weeks gestation. She weighed 14 ounces and measured 10 inches long. When I awoke from anesthesia, I was shown this Polaroid picture of my precious baby girl.
A couple hours later, they wheeled my entire bed into the NICU to meet Brianne in person. I could not imagine how a baby so tiny could possibly survive...our baby! My first question to the nurse assigned to her care was "Has a baby this small ever survived here?" She said, "Yes!" She lied! (To my knowledge, Bri continues to be the smallest baby ever born at Methodist Medical Center in Dallas to survive).
We spent 9 1/2 agonizing months with her in the NICU experiencing several life and death emergencies and many highs and lows. I truly wondered back then if I would ever laugh again?? I know what it feels like to have a broken heart...I literally felt physical pain in my heart!
I know that many of you have been there, and some of you might be there today. Your heart is breaking over something.
I wish that I could wrap my arms around each one of you reading this, and tell you that God knows and He cares! He is truly able to bring beauty from the ashes!
Isaiah 61 was a prophetic "job description" of Jesus and his mission here on earth. In John 4:18, Jesus stood up in the synagogue and began to read it, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed..."
Isaiah 61 goes on to say..."He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair."
I can say with all of my heart that God has brought beauty out of my ashes! And I know that if he did it for me, He will do it for you!! Sometimes the answer can look differently than we expect, but we can trust that HE knows best!
Friday, May 3, 2013
It is Finished...He has Done It!
Tapestry
I had a "full circle" moment recently that left me in awe of the Lord! Have you ever heard the analogy that our life is like a tapestry...that all we see is the knots and threads on the underside, but God sees how all these pieces fit together to make a beautiful picture? Well, I felt like I had a momentary glimpse of God's handiwork in my life.
CCF
Our daughter Brooke has been dancing with a dance ministry at Community Christian Fellowship, a church right next door to the Mercy Ships' offices, where Wade and I work. On Easter Sunday, her group danced for both services at "CCF" so our family spent the morning there with my mom and stepdad, who are members of CCF.
Dove award winning, singer-songwriter and worship leader, Paul Baloche leads the worship at CCF, and it is always amazing, to say the least. He has written several worship songs that many of us sing in our own churches..."Open the Eyes of my Heart" and "Hosanna" just to name a few.
Well, at the Easter service, one of the songs that Paul led us in for worship was called "Victor" and was made popular by the late contemporary Christian musician, Keith Green. As a teenager, I used to listen to his albums over and over, and this song brought back so many great memories of my early walk with the Lord.
Keith Green
I was an avid fan of Keith Green and his music and I was devastated when he died at 28 years old in a very unexpected accident...a plane crash...with 2 of his children. This happened in July of 1982, the summer after I graduated from high school. Later that year, while I was in my first year of nursing school, I learned about the Keith Green "Memorial" Concerts that were going to be travelling around the country. I was thrilled to learn that one would be coming to a Michigan city near me. These concerts were going to be showing a big-screen video of Keith's recent performance at "Jesus West Coast" that had occurred just 6 weeks before he died.
"Call "to Missions
At this concert, Keith shared a vision that he felt he had received from the Lord. It was a vision of "waves of young people going into the mission field." He felt that the Lord was asking him to challenge my generation to consider giving our lives to cross-cultural missionary service. My heart was touched by the Lord that night, and I say "Yes" to the call. I told the Lord that if He wanted me to go to the mission field, I would go. I just needed Him to show me when and where?
Mercy Ships
After the concert, there were numerous displays from various mission organizations, particularly those that were open to young people. One of the displays was giving information about this hospital ship, and a ministry called "Mercy Ships." Something in my heart lept that day, and I said, "One day I'm going to serve on that ship!" That was 29 years ago! And as the say, the rest is history!
City of Faith
But actually, there is more....in my pursuit of serving the Lord as a nurse in missions, I attended the College Missions Conference "Urbana" several months before graduating from nursing school. I had received counsel from a couple missionary nurses that I had spoken to that I should seek to get some experience in nursing before heading out to the mission field. I was hoping to find a place where I could pursue ministry and get practical nursing experience at the same time. I "just happened" to stand behind a man from Tulsa Oklahoma in the lunch line one day who was recruiting new graduate nurses for a Christian hospital called, "City of Faith." The hospital's vision was very similar to Mercy Ships' vision to provide medical care to those who might not be able to afford it. This seemed like the perfect match, and within a few months, I was headed to Tulsa.
Teen Mania
While living in Tulsa, I was listening to the local Christian radio station one day, and I heard about this new ministry forming, called "Teen Mania." Recent Oral Roberts University graduates, Ron and Katie Luce, were advertising on the radio, looking for those who had a heart to reach the teenagers of our generation, and I was prompted to respond. I spent several months participating in weekend retreats with Teen Mania, travelling to surrounding towns and sharing the love of Jesus with young people, before I felt the Lord leading me to relocate to Madison, Wisconsin.
City Church
My mom had moved there just a few years earlier, and I had considered pursuing further education at the University of Wisconsin. That was my plan, but in retrospect, I believe that the Lord's plan was for me to connect with a wonderful church, City Church (formerly called MGT), that "sent" me into the mission field in 1988 to serve with Mercy Ships, and has faithfully supported me (and my family) ever since.
Tying it all Together
So...fast forward almost 30 years. I am a missionary, living in Van, Texas working with Mercy Ships, just a few miles from Keith Green's "Last Days Ministries" property where his plane crash took place. That property is now owned and operated by Teen Mania ministries, run by Ron and Katie Luce. Many of the Teen Mania staff and interns attend CCF, where our daughter dances, and with whom she is going on her first mission trip to Panama this summer.
As I sang that Victor song on Easter Sunday, I felt as though I was getting a quick glimpse of the "top side" of the tapestry that was my life. I could not have put all those pieces together if I had tried!
I was once again reminded that our creative Father has an amazing plan for each of our lives, and all He asks of us is to take the next step! We don't have to figure out how it all fits together, He is fully able to do that!
Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
As my former beloved pastor, Warren Heckman, used to say, "The Christian life is pretty simple...Read, Pray and Obey Every Day!"
I had a "full circle" moment recently that left me in awe of the Lord! Have you ever heard the analogy that our life is like a tapestry...that all we see is the knots and threads on the underside, but God sees how all these pieces fit together to make a beautiful picture? Well, I felt like I had a momentary glimpse of God's handiwork in my life.
CCF
Our daughter Brooke has been dancing with a dance ministry at Community Christian Fellowship, a church right next door to the Mercy Ships' offices, where Wade and I work. On Easter Sunday, her group danced for both services at "CCF" so our family spent the morning there with my mom and stepdad, who are members of CCF.
Dove award winning, singer-songwriter and worship leader, Paul Baloche leads the worship at CCF, and it is always amazing, to say the least. He has written several worship songs that many of us sing in our own churches..."Open the Eyes of my Heart" and "Hosanna" just to name a few.
Well, at the Easter service, one of the songs that Paul led us in for worship was called "Victor" and was made popular by the late contemporary Christian musician, Keith Green. As a teenager, I used to listen to his albums over and over, and this song brought back so many great memories of my early walk with the Lord.
Keith Green
I was an avid fan of Keith Green and his music and I was devastated when he died at 28 years old in a very unexpected accident...a plane crash...with 2 of his children. This happened in July of 1982, the summer after I graduated from high school. Later that year, while I was in my first year of nursing school, I learned about the Keith Green "Memorial" Concerts that were going to be travelling around the country. I was thrilled to learn that one would be coming to a Michigan city near me. These concerts were going to be showing a big-screen video of Keith's recent performance at "Jesus West Coast" that had occurred just 6 weeks before he died.
"Call "to Missions
At this concert, Keith shared a vision that he felt he had received from the Lord. It was a vision of "waves of young people going into the mission field." He felt that the Lord was asking him to challenge my generation to consider giving our lives to cross-cultural missionary service. My heart was touched by the Lord that night, and I say "Yes" to the call. I told the Lord that if He wanted me to go to the mission field, I would go. I just needed Him to show me when and where?
Mercy Ships
After the concert, there were numerous displays from various mission organizations, particularly those that were open to young people. One of the displays was giving information about this hospital ship, and a ministry called "Mercy Ships." Something in my heart lept that day, and I said, "One day I'm going to serve on that ship!" That was 29 years ago! And as the say, the rest is history!
City of Faith
But actually, there is more....in my pursuit of serving the Lord as a nurse in missions, I attended the College Missions Conference "Urbana" several months before graduating from nursing school. I had received counsel from a couple missionary nurses that I had spoken to that I should seek to get some experience in nursing before heading out to the mission field. I was hoping to find a place where I could pursue ministry and get practical nursing experience at the same time. I "just happened" to stand behind a man from Tulsa Oklahoma in the lunch line one day who was recruiting new graduate nurses for a Christian hospital called, "City of Faith." The hospital's vision was very similar to Mercy Ships' vision to provide medical care to those who might not be able to afford it. This seemed like the perfect match, and within a few months, I was headed to Tulsa.
Teen Mania
While living in Tulsa, I was listening to the local Christian radio station one day, and I heard about this new ministry forming, called "Teen Mania." Recent Oral Roberts University graduates, Ron and Katie Luce, were advertising on the radio, looking for those who had a heart to reach the teenagers of our generation, and I was prompted to respond. I spent several months participating in weekend retreats with Teen Mania, travelling to surrounding towns and sharing the love of Jesus with young people, before I felt the Lord leading me to relocate to Madison, Wisconsin.
City Church
My mom had moved there just a few years earlier, and I had considered pursuing further education at the University of Wisconsin. That was my plan, but in retrospect, I believe that the Lord's plan was for me to connect with a wonderful church, City Church (formerly called MGT), that "sent" me into the mission field in 1988 to serve with Mercy Ships, and has faithfully supported me (and my family) ever since.
Tying it all Together
So...fast forward almost 30 years. I am a missionary, living in Van, Texas working with Mercy Ships, just a few miles from Keith Green's "Last Days Ministries" property where his plane crash took place. That property is now owned and operated by Teen Mania ministries, run by Ron and Katie Luce. Many of the Teen Mania staff and interns attend CCF, where our daughter dances, and with whom she is going on her first mission trip to Panama this summer.
As I sang that Victor song on Easter Sunday, I felt as though I was getting a quick glimpse of the "top side" of the tapestry that was my life. I could not have put all those pieces together if I had tried!
I was once again reminded that our creative Father has an amazing plan for each of our lives, and all He asks of us is to take the next step! We don't have to figure out how it all fits together, He is fully able to do that!
Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
As my former beloved pastor, Warren Heckman, used to say, "The Christian life is pretty simple...Read, Pray and Obey Every Day!"
Friday, April 12, 2013
The Kiss Heard 'Round the World!
It was several months ago that I learned that former President George W. and Laura Bush were going to be hosting an event for Mercy Ships in Dallas. I didn't know any of the details, but I did know I WANTED TO BE THERE! I was informed that there would be very few Mercy Ships staff who would participate with this event, so I should not expect to be included.
I remember praying at that time, "Lord, I would be willing to scrub toilets with toothbrushes if I could just be present at this event." You see, I loved Pres. George W. and Laura Bush when they were in office, and I love them even more now! It breaks my heart to see how they have been demonized and blamed for so many of our country's problems even now...more than 4 years after the fact! They have not tried to defend themselves nor speak against the current Administration, and for that, they have won my deepest respect.
I didn't agree with all of the policies of the Bush administration or decisions that were made, but I can honestly say that I prayed more for President Bush and his family than any other President before him (or after...which is convicting me even as I write it). And, it's amazing what can happen when you regularly pray for someone!
As much as I wanted to ask someone to please let the Coxes be involved...I even considered playing my "we've served for 25 years with Mercy Ships" card...but I felt from the Lord that I was NOT to ask.
Imagine my surprise when we received an email from the coordinator of the event asking if we would participate? Yipppeeeee!!!! "Yes, yes, yes, yes...!"
So, this past Saturday, April 6th, Wade and I made our way to the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Dallas to join the other Mercy Ships staff who were helping with this event. We had been told in advance to keep our expectations low when it came to the possibility of meeting or getting a photo with Pres. and Mrs. Bush. The invited guests would be getting photos, but the Mercy Ships staff would only do so if time permitted. So, once again, I went to my Heavenly Father, and submitted my request.
I was assigned to take purses and nametags at the table where the photos were being taken...the Secret Service required that no one carry anything in their hands when they got their picture taken. I was literally just a couple yards away from the First Couple as they were meeting and greeting the guests and saying "Cheese!" I was pinching myself and thanking the Lord for this amazing opportunity!
And then the word came that all of the Mercy Ships staff would be allowed to get a photograph with Pres. and Mrs. Bush! I felt like a giddy teenager going on a first date...nervous and excited all at the same time! As we got closer and closer in the line, the emotion came over me like a wave, and I started to cry. "Oh no, Sharon, don't cry," I chided myself. "Take a deep breath," my friend Carrie suggested.
Before I knew it, Wade and I were standing in front of this amazing couple, whom I deeply admired, respected, and had interceded for, and the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I don't remember exactly what I said to them, but I told them how much we love and respect them. And just like a loving father, President George W. Bush leaned over and kissed my cheek, and said, "Don't cry!"
I know that this will sound corny, but at that moment, I felt like the Lord was giving me a kiss, and saying to me, "I love you daughter, and I delight in giving you good gifts!"
Several have asked me if I have washed my cheek since then? Yes, I have washed my cheek, but I will NEVER forget that moment!
It was an awesome reminder to me that our Heavenly Father knows the desires of our heart, and he loves to exceed our hopes and dreams! Keep hoping and believing friends! You never know what the Lord might be up to.
p.s. The Bush's personal photographer took the pictures that evening and will be sending them to us when they are completed. I will be sure and post the photo when we have it! I don't think the photographer captured "the kiss" but we did get a photo taken with the First Couple.
I remember praying at that time, "Lord, I would be willing to scrub toilets with toothbrushes if I could just be present at this event." You see, I loved Pres. George W. and Laura Bush when they were in office, and I love them even more now! It breaks my heart to see how they have been demonized and blamed for so many of our country's problems even now...more than 4 years after the fact! They have not tried to defend themselves nor speak against the current Administration, and for that, they have won my deepest respect.
I didn't agree with all of the policies of the Bush administration or decisions that were made, but I can honestly say that I prayed more for President Bush and his family than any other President before him (or after...which is convicting me even as I write it). And, it's amazing what can happen when you regularly pray for someone!
As much as I wanted to ask someone to please let the Coxes be involved...I even considered playing my "we've served for 25 years with Mercy Ships" card...but I felt from the Lord that I was NOT to ask.
Imagine my surprise when we received an email from the coordinator of the event asking if we would participate? Yipppeeeee!!!! "Yes, yes, yes, yes...!"
So, this past Saturday, April 6th, Wade and I made our way to the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Dallas to join the other Mercy Ships staff who were helping with this event. We had been told in advance to keep our expectations low when it came to the possibility of meeting or getting a photo with Pres. and Mrs. Bush. The invited guests would be getting photos, but the Mercy Ships staff would only do so if time permitted. So, once again, I went to my Heavenly Father, and submitted my request.
I was assigned to take purses and nametags at the table where the photos were being taken...the Secret Service required that no one carry anything in their hands when they got their picture taken. I was literally just a couple yards away from the First Couple as they were meeting and greeting the guests and saying "Cheese!" I was pinching myself and thanking the Lord for this amazing opportunity!
And then the word came that all of the Mercy Ships staff would be allowed to get a photograph with Pres. and Mrs. Bush! I felt like a giddy teenager going on a first date...nervous and excited all at the same time! As we got closer and closer in the line, the emotion came over me like a wave, and I started to cry. "Oh no, Sharon, don't cry," I chided myself. "Take a deep breath," my friend Carrie suggested.
Before I knew it, Wade and I were standing in front of this amazing couple, whom I deeply admired, respected, and had interceded for, and the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I don't remember exactly what I said to them, but I told them how much we love and respect them. And just like a loving father, President George W. Bush leaned over and kissed my cheek, and said, "Don't cry!"
I know that this will sound corny, but at that moment, I felt like the Lord was giving me a kiss, and saying to me, "I love you daughter, and I delight in giving you good gifts!"
Several have asked me if I have washed my cheek since then? Yes, I have washed my cheek, but I will NEVER forget that moment!
It was an awesome reminder to me that our Heavenly Father knows the desires of our heart, and he loves to exceed our hopes and dreams! Keep hoping and believing friends! You never know what the Lord might be up to.
p.s. The Bush's personal photographer took the pictures that evening and will be sending them to us when they are completed. I will be sure and post the photo when we have it! I don't think the photographer captured "the kiss" but we did get a photo taken with the First Couple.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
God is Still in the Miracle Working Business!
I had a suprising thing happen last week...I was so caught off guard by it that I'm still trying to process it more than a week later.
I took Bri to her Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to have an ABR (Auditory Brain Response) done. This is a fancy name for a hearing test. ABR's are done on children who are not verbal, and are not able to say "what" and "how well" they hear a particular sound in a traditional hearing test. Just getting this test done has taken an act of Congress...that's probably not a good analogy, since it seems Congress is not getting much of anything done these days...but I digress.
Because of Brianne's challenge of chronic ear infections over the past 2-1/2 years, we have had to reschedule this ABR 4 times. She had to be completely free of infection, so as not to hinder the results of the test. Finally last week we were able to proceed with the testing.
My first challenge occurred when we arrived at the office. I could not get her "lift seat" to work. It would not come out of the van...which meant that I had no wheelchair to transport her with. So, I had to walk her, holding onto her hands, which made opening doors, using the public restroom, etc... quite a juggling act.
The next challenge came when I had to try to keep Bri still and quiet, and not allow her to pull on the probes that they had attached to her forehead (which she definitely did NOT like). These probes measure the brain activity when various decibels of sound are transferred through the ear pieces. They measure the brain's response to these sounds, which indicates the person's ability to hear these sounds. The entire test took about an hour...but who's counting?? ME! It seemed like forever!
I was exhausted and exasperated by the time the test was finished, and definitely not prepared for the results.
"In comparing this ABR with the last one that Brianne had done in 2008," the doctor began, "it seems that her hearing has improved."
"Really? Is this common for a teenager to regain hearing loss?" I asked.
"No, this is not typical," she replied.
[I cannot tell you how many times we have heard those exact words "This is not typical" but not usually said in a positive way. It usually goes something like this, "We have never seen this before!" or "Your daughter is not responding the way that a child normally does!" or "This is new one for us!"]
When I probed further to see what could account for this, and what it would mean for Brianne, the doctor said, "I can't really give an explanation for this, but I don't think that she needs her hearing aids any more."
"What?" "Are you sure?" Rather than recognizing it as the miracle that it was, I kept wondering if she was really qualified to make these declarations? (Oh me of little faith!) I reminded her that often when Bri is not responding to us as she normally would, we will check her hearing aid batteries only to find that they are dead.
"Well, when the batteries are dead, she replied, "her hearing aids act like ear plugs, decreasing her ability to hear."
Wow, that was not what I expected! That is not even something I had asked the Lord for! But in a round-about way, I guess I had prayed for this. We have been asking the Lord for months now to take away these recurring ear infections. By getting rid of the hearing aids, we are removing a likely source of the infections. I am still amazed at the goodness and creativity of God...killing two birds with one stone!
Scripture is filled with examples of David giving credit to the Lord for the great things He has done.
I Chronicles 16:24, "Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous deeds among all peoples."
Psalm 26:7, "... proclaiming aloud your praise and telling of all your wonderful deeds."
Psalm 86:10, "For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God."
Psalm 103:2-4, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases; he redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion."
I want to be like David....I want to give God credit for His marvelous deeds! I want to be an encouragement to others who may be asking the Lord for a specific answer to prayer!
Be encouraged friend, God is still in the business of working miracles today!
I took Bri to her Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to have an ABR (Auditory Brain Response) done. This is a fancy name for a hearing test. ABR's are done on children who are not verbal, and are not able to say "what" and "how well" they hear a particular sound in a traditional hearing test. Just getting this test done has taken an act of Congress...that's probably not a good analogy, since it seems Congress is not getting much of anything done these days...but I digress.
Because of Brianne's challenge of chronic ear infections over the past 2-1/2 years, we have had to reschedule this ABR 4 times. She had to be completely free of infection, so as not to hinder the results of the test. Finally last week we were able to proceed with the testing.
My first challenge occurred when we arrived at the office. I could not get her "lift seat" to work. It would not come out of the van...which meant that I had no wheelchair to transport her with. So, I had to walk her, holding onto her hands, which made opening doors, using the public restroom, etc... quite a juggling act.
The next challenge came when I had to try to keep Bri still and quiet, and not allow her to pull on the probes that they had attached to her forehead (which she definitely did NOT like). These probes measure the brain activity when various decibels of sound are transferred through the ear pieces. They measure the brain's response to these sounds, which indicates the person's ability to hear these sounds. The entire test took about an hour...but who's counting?? ME! It seemed like forever!
I was exhausted and exasperated by the time the test was finished, and definitely not prepared for the results.
"In comparing this ABR with the last one that Brianne had done in 2008," the doctor began, "it seems that her hearing has improved."
"Really? Is this common for a teenager to regain hearing loss?" I asked.
"No, this is not typical," she replied.
[I cannot tell you how many times we have heard those exact words "This is not typical" but not usually said in a positive way. It usually goes something like this, "We have never seen this before!" or "Your daughter is not responding the way that a child normally does!" or "This is new one for us!"]
When I probed further to see what could account for this, and what it would mean for Brianne, the doctor said, "I can't really give an explanation for this, but I don't think that she needs her hearing aids any more."
"What?" "Are you sure?" Rather than recognizing it as the miracle that it was, I kept wondering if she was really qualified to make these declarations? (Oh me of little faith!) I reminded her that often when Bri is not responding to us as she normally would, we will check her hearing aid batteries only to find that they are dead.
"Well, when the batteries are dead, she replied, "her hearing aids act like ear plugs, decreasing her ability to hear."
Wow, that was not what I expected! That is not even something I had asked the Lord for! But in a round-about way, I guess I had prayed for this. We have been asking the Lord for months now to take away these recurring ear infections. By getting rid of the hearing aids, we are removing a likely source of the infections. I am still amazed at the goodness and creativity of God...killing two birds with one stone!
Scripture is filled with examples of David giving credit to the Lord for the great things He has done.
I Chronicles 16:24, "Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous deeds among all peoples."
Psalm 26:7, "... proclaiming aloud your praise and telling of all your wonderful deeds."
Psalm 86:10, "For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God."
Psalm 103:2-4, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases; he redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion."
I want to be like David....I want to give God credit for His marvelous deeds! I want to be an encouragement to others who may be asking the Lord for a specific answer to prayer!
Be encouraged friend, God is still in the business of working miracles today!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The Way Up is Down
These past few weeks have been interesting as Mercy Ships (the ministry that I have spent half of my life serving with) has received national attention. CBS' 60 Minutes did a story on Mercy Ships a couple weeks ago, and millions of people were able to see first-hand this amazing ministry. It's been a bit surreal to hear of the tens of thousands of people who have visited our website for the first time, and the hundreds of people who have downloaded applications to serve with us. Mercy Ships has been around for 35 years, and some are just hearing of us for the first time.
Along with that, former President George W. Bush and his wife Laura are hosting an event in April to tell even more people about this ministry. This private dinner will be hosted in Dallas with over 100 invited guests. Those attending will hear the Bushes passion for Africa and Mercy Ships vision to "Advance hope and healing for Africa." While not an evening focused on raising funds, it will serve as an opportunity to announce our intention to more than double our capability to serve with the completion of the second ship. Wade and I are thrilled to have been asked to participate in this event.
In reflection of these recent events, I have thought about God's timing, and how it is truly Him who decides if and when to exalt or to humble a ministry, a leader, a person, etc... Our job is to be faithful in the small things, and his job is to use what we offer Him for His glory.
I am currently participating in Beth Moore's bible study on the book of Daniel, and this lesson can be clearly seen in the life of King Nebuchadnezzar. In Daniel's interpretation of King Neb's dream in Daniel 2:37, Daniel says to King Neb, "You, O King, are the king of kings. The God of heaven has given you dominion and power and might and glory." God used Daniel to let King Neb know that IT WAS GOD who had put him in that place.
Just a couple chapters later, we see King Neb strutting around the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, and declaring, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" King Neb clearly didn't learn the lesson! While the words were still on his lips, a voice came from heaven, "This is what is declared for King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. You will be driven away from people, and will live like the wild animals...Immediately what had been said was fulfilled..." Daniel 4:31-33
Peter says in I Peter 5:5b - 6, "Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that He may lift you up in due time."
We are truly in awe of the amazing opportunities that the Lord has made available to Mercy Ships recently, but we definitely don't want to make the same mistakes that King Neb made. We will keep being faithful and doing what God has called us to do, and we will trust Him to use our "offering" as He sees fit!
Along with that, former President George W. Bush and his wife Laura are hosting an event in April to tell even more people about this ministry. This private dinner will be hosted in Dallas with over 100 invited guests. Those attending will hear the Bushes passion for Africa and Mercy Ships vision to "Advance hope and healing for Africa." While not an evening focused on raising funds, it will serve as an opportunity to announce our intention to more than double our capability to serve with the completion of the second ship. Wade and I are thrilled to have been asked to participate in this event.
In reflection of these recent events, I have thought about God's timing, and how it is truly Him who decides if and when to exalt or to humble a ministry, a leader, a person, etc... Our job is to be faithful in the small things, and his job is to use what we offer Him for His glory.
I am currently participating in Beth Moore's bible study on the book of Daniel, and this lesson can be clearly seen in the life of King Nebuchadnezzar. In Daniel's interpretation of King Neb's dream in Daniel 2:37, Daniel says to King Neb, "You, O King, are the king of kings. The God of heaven has given you dominion and power and might and glory." God used Daniel to let King Neb know that IT WAS GOD who had put him in that place.
Just a couple chapters later, we see King Neb strutting around the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, and declaring, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" King Neb clearly didn't learn the lesson! While the words were still on his lips, a voice came from heaven, "This is what is declared for King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. You will be driven away from people, and will live like the wild animals...Immediately what had been said was fulfilled..." Daniel 4:31-33
Peter says in I Peter 5:5b - 6, "Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that He may lift you up in due time."
We are truly in awe of the amazing opportunities that the Lord has made available to Mercy Ships recently, but we definitely don't want to make the same mistakes that King Neb made. We will keep being faithful and doing what God has called us to do, and we will trust Him to use our "offering" as He sees fit!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Lesson Learned from our Cat
As I've mentioned before, God uses all kinds of things to get my attention, and yesterday, it was our cat Simba. I should actually say "Brooke's cat" Simba because it is clear to everyone that knows Simba, he loves Brooke the most!! And why not? It was Brooke who rescued him from the streets of Burgaw, NC nearly 10 years ago.
We were on a 3 week trip to NC, visiting Wade's family and some of our supporting churches, when we first met Simba. He was a stray that showed up on the steps of the home that we were staying in. The couple who owned the home had graciously moved in with her parents for those 3 weeks to give our family a "home base." They thought that "Simba" (they had named him already) would be good company for our animal loving 4 year-old, so they decided to wait to find a home for him until after our visit was over.
It was love at first sight for both of them! The thing I remember most about that summer is that Brooke was covered in mosquito bites from head to toe. She spent every moment that we were at our "home away from home" outside on the front porch with Simba, and even the pesky mosquitoes could not stop her. It was amazing to watch how she would call his name and he would come running out of the woods for her.
The thought of having to leave Simba behind when we returned to Texas broke my heart! Even though I was not much of an animal lover at the time, I loved my little girl, and wanted to avoid the heart-wrenching goodbye that was soon to come. After a phone call to the airlines, and a visit to the vet, Simba joined us on our flight back to Texas. And he has never looked back! Some of our amused friends made the comment upon our return, "You know we have cats in Texas??!!" "Yes we know," we answered, "but not Simba!" And he has proved to be the best pet ever over these 10 years!!
So, where am I going with this?...Well, yesterday I observed something that I see on a fairly regular basis. Simba was all curled up, lying on top of Brooke's folded laundry while she was at school. I thought to myself, "He loves her so much, that when she is away, he'll settle for her clothes."
At that moment, I remembered the Psalmist who said to the Lord, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." Psalm 84:10. In other words, he was saying "I just want to BE where you are Lord, if even in the lowliest position available."
Oh, how this challenges me! Am I as much in love with my Father, who rescued me from sin and from myself, as Simba is in love with Brooke?? Can I say with the Psalmist, "I just want to be where you are Lord" no matter where that might take me?? Help me Lord to LOVE you with all that I am and ever hope to be!
We were on a 3 week trip to NC, visiting Wade's family and some of our supporting churches, when we first met Simba. He was a stray that showed up on the steps of the home that we were staying in. The couple who owned the home had graciously moved in with her parents for those 3 weeks to give our family a "home base." They thought that "Simba" (they had named him already) would be good company for our animal loving 4 year-old, so they decided to wait to find a home for him until after our visit was over.
It was love at first sight for both of them! The thing I remember most about that summer is that Brooke was covered in mosquito bites from head to toe. She spent every moment that we were at our "home away from home" outside on the front porch with Simba, and even the pesky mosquitoes could not stop her. It was amazing to watch how she would call his name and he would come running out of the woods for her.
The thought of having to leave Simba behind when we returned to Texas broke my heart! Even though I was not much of an animal lover at the time, I loved my little girl, and wanted to avoid the heart-wrenching goodbye that was soon to come. After a phone call to the airlines, and a visit to the vet, Simba joined us on our flight back to Texas. And he has never looked back! Some of our amused friends made the comment upon our return, "You know we have cats in Texas??!!" "Yes we know," we answered, "but not Simba!" And he has proved to be the best pet ever over these 10 years!!
Oh, how this challenges me! Am I as much in love with my Father, who rescued me from sin and from myself, as Simba is in love with Brooke?? Can I say with the Psalmist, "I just want to be where you are Lord" no matter where that might take me?? Help me Lord to LOVE you with all that I am and ever hope to be!
Monday, February 18, 2013
This World is not our Home!
I've been thinking about death a great deal lately...not because I have a morbid imagination, but because our little community has been showered with grief in the past 2 weeks. I don't know what I would qualify as an "acceptable age" to die, but certainly not a 47 year old mother of 6, or a 42 year old father of 3. Our kids go to school with these children, and I can hardly bear the thought of this happening to our family.
And then, one week ago today, another precious angel went to be with Jesus...Brett Michael Menasco, at the young age of 15. Brett was one of Brianne's classmates for several years until he became too medically fragile to attend school any more. When he became homebound, I had the privilege to be his home health nurse for many months. His sweet and gentle spirit had a profound impact on me, as every day was a challenge for him, and yet he handled it with grace and dignity. These "special" children can certainly teach us a lot about how to live if we'll pay attention.
As you can imagine, there was a mixture of emotions that flooded me with Brett's passing. When I heard the news, I immediately pictured him running and playing and singing...doing all of the things that his weakened human body had prevented him from doing for so long. But then I thought of his mother, and the fact that Brett was not the only child that she had lost. She lost her first child at 9 years old, who passed before Brett was even born. "Oh Lord," I cried, "how is Bobi going to get through this?" And then the Lord reminded me that He loves Bobi even more than I do, and she WILL get through this with His strength!
He then reminded me of the book that I have bought several friends of mine who have lost children. Just writing that sentence makes me sick to my stomach...so many Mommies who have had to lay their babies to rest! What a broken world we live in! The book is called "Mommy Please Don't Cry" by Linda DeYmaz. I was able to read it to Brett's mom at his Memorial service, and I want to share it with you here...
Mommy, please don't cry...A beautiful angel carried me here!
I met Jesus today, Mommy! He cradled me in His big, strong arms. He made me feel so happy inside.
Mommy, please don't cry...Heaven is wonderful! Did you know the streets are made of gold? Real gold!
I have lots of friends, Mommy. We run and play, we giggle and laugh. I can't wait to show you my secret hideouts!
Mommy, please don't cry...When I fall it doesn't hurt! There are no tears in Heaven.
I've met a man named Noah. He told me about his big boat, all the animals, and the very first rainbow. Have you heard of Noah, Mommy?
Mommy, please don't cry...We have lots of parties here; with streamers and hats, and the best chocolate cake ever!
When it's time to rest, angels tuck us in. I never get scared Mommy, there is no darkness here! Jesus is the light of heaven.
Mommy, please don't cry...the angels are always singing. I love to sing with the angels! You'd be proud of me, I have a pretty good voice. I must have gotten it from you.
There is a river, Mommy, in the most beautiful garden you could ever imagine...and a huge tree with yummy fruit. The angels call it the tree of life. Mommy, it's so wonderful to be alive in Heaven!
Mommy, please don't cry...sometimes I just like to be by myself. That's when I think of you.
Someday, Mommy, we will hold each other tight! Then you will cradle me in your arms, and stroke my hair...And once again, our hearts will beat together.
Mommy, please don't cry...I'll wait right here for you.
The Bible has a lot to say about heaven. It is a glorious place! And we know that Brett is there today! Mark 10:14 says, "[Jesus] said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." And in Matthew 5:8 Jesus said, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God."
One of the things that Bobi reminded us in Brett's eulogy is that "Life is short" and it is important that we live this life in the way that God intended us to. She also said, "I know that my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life and I will see my children again one day." What a comfort that John 3:16 is at a time like this...."For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life!"
And then, one week ago today, another precious angel went to be with Jesus...Brett Michael Menasco, at the young age of 15. Brett was one of Brianne's classmates for several years until he became too medically fragile to attend school any more. When he became homebound, I had the privilege to be his home health nurse for many months. His sweet and gentle spirit had a profound impact on me, as every day was a challenge for him, and yet he handled it with grace and dignity. These "special" children can certainly teach us a lot about how to live if we'll pay attention.
As you can imagine, there was a mixture of emotions that flooded me with Brett's passing. When I heard the news, I immediately pictured him running and playing and singing...doing all of the things that his weakened human body had prevented him from doing for so long. But then I thought of his mother, and the fact that Brett was not the only child that she had lost. She lost her first child at 9 years old, who passed before Brett was even born. "Oh Lord," I cried, "how is Bobi going to get through this?" And then the Lord reminded me that He loves Bobi even more than I do, and she WILL get through this with His strength!
He then reminded me of the book that I have bought several friends of mine who have lost children. Just writing that sentence makes me sick to my stomach...so many Mommies who have had to lay their babies to rest! What a broken world we live in! The book is called "Mommy Please Don't Cry" by Linda DeYmaz. I was able to read it to Brett's mom at his Memorial service, and I want to share it with you here...
Mommy, please don't cry...A beautiful angel carried me here!
I met Jesus today, Mommy! He cradled me in His big, strong arms. He made me feel so happy inside.
Mommy, please don't cry...Heaven is wonderful! Did you know the streets are made of gold? Real gold!
I have lots of friends, Mommy. We run and play, we giggle and laugh. I can't wait to show you my secret hideouts!
Mommy, please don't cry...When I fall it doesn't hurt! There are no tears in Heaven.
I've met a man named Noah. He told me about his big boat, all the animals, and the very first rainbow. Have you heard of Noah, Mommy?
Mommy, please don't cry...We have lots of parties here; with streamers and hats, and the best chocolate cake ever!
When it's time to rest, angels tuck us in. I never get scared Mommy, there is no darkness here! Jesus is the light of heaven.
Mommy, please don't cry...the angels are always singing. I love to sing with the angels! You'd be proud of me, I have a pretty good voice. I must have gotten it from you.
There is a river, Mommy, in the most beautiful garden you could ever imagine...and a huge tree with yummy fruit. The angels call it the tree of life. Mommy, it's so wonderful to be alive in Heaven!
Mommy, please don't cry...sometimes I just like to be by myself. That's when I think of you.
Someday, Mommy, we will hold each other tight! Then you will cradle me in your arms, and stroke my hair...And once again, our hearts will beat together.
Mommy, please don't cry...I'll wait right here for you.
The Bible has a lot to say about heaven. It is a glorious place! And we know that Brett is there today! Mark 10:14 says, "[Jesus] said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." And in Matthew 5:8 Jesus said, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God."
One of the things that Bobi reminded us in Brett's eulogy is that "Life is short" and it is important that we live this life in the way that God intended us to. She also said, "I know that my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life and I will see my children again one day." What a comfort that John 3:16 is at a time like this...."For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life!"
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Ultimate Running Coach
I had a conversation with our middle daughter this weekend. We were talking about running (actually jogging is a better description of what I do...crawling might even fit at times.) I had asked her to join me on a jog on Saturday morning. When we returned home, she was laid out on the floor telling me how much she hates running, how bad she felt, and how she doesn't know why anyone would choose to do such a thing on a regular basis? I encouraged her to stretch, get something to drink and eat, and she would "feel" differently soon. In my mind, (and probably out loud) I have said those same words many times.
Recently a friend had asked me to consider training for a 5K with her. My initial reaction was, "No way...been there, done that....even have a medal and picture to prove it! And to top it all off, I did NOT enjoy it!" But I graciously told her I would think about it and pray about it. The timing was interesting because I had been thinking about my fitness class earlier in the week. It's an interval training class (p31fitness.com), and among the many things we do in this class, we run. I had been thinking about how grateful I was to have found a class here in town that really pushes me physically, and is also a great opportunity to connect with other women. When reflecting on the class, I concluded that the activity I like least about it is the running. How ironic that just days later, I was asked to consider doing more running, by training for another 5K.
I said, "Yes."
I know, call me crazy, but this is why I said "Yes."
I concluded that it would be good for my flesh to do something that it doesn't enjoy. I am continually reminded that I live in a very selfish and self-absorbed culture that follows the rule "If it feels good, do it!" which implies that the opposite would also be encouraged, "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it!" And look where it has gotten us! It is my belief that we as Christians sometimes have to make radical steps to go against the "culture of the world" in our own lives.
And this is where my conversation with Brooke comes in...I told her, "Sometimes, we have to make our bodies do what they don't want to do, in order to get them to be where we want them to be." I reminded her of the fact that she is planning to run track in the Spring, and if she continues all of this negative self-talk, it will only make it harder for her to succeed in her efforts.
I went on to say that self-discipline and training don't just pertain to athletics, they pertain to life, especially the Christian life. Jesus reminded his disciples "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matt.16:24
Paul often compared his walk with Christ to running a race. He said in 1 Cor. 9:25 - 27 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever...No, I beat my body, and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
I love how the writer of Hebrews describes "Discipline in a Long-Distance Race" as found in Chapter 12 in The Message translation:
"Do you see what this means--all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get with it. Strip down, start running--and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished the race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed--that exhilirating finish in and with God--he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"
I am definitely NOT suggesting that to be spiritual, you have to be a runner. (Cue the Hallelujah Chorus!) But maybe, just maybe, the Lord is asking you to step outside your comfort zone, and do something that you don't want to do, and this blog post is just the encouragement you needed to do it!
Recently a friend had asked me to consider training for a 5K with her. My initial reaction was, "No way...been there, done that....even have a medal and picture to prove it! And to top it all off, I did NOT enjoy it!" But I graciously told her I would think about it and pray about it. The timing was interesting because I had been thinking about my fitness class earlier in the week. It's an interval training class (p31fitness.com), and among the many things we do in this class, we run. I had been thinking about how grateful I was to have found a class here in town that really pushes me physically, and is also a great opportunity to connect with other women. When reflecting on the class, I concluded that the activity I like least about it is the running. How ironic that just days later, I was asked to consider doing more running, by training for another 5K.
I said, "Yes."
I know, call me crazy, but this is why I said "Yes."
I concluded that it would be good for my flesh to do something that it doesn't enjoy. I am continually reminded that I live in a very selfish and self-absorbed culture that follows the rule "If it feels good, do it!" which implies that the opposite would also be encouraged, "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it!" And look where it has gotten us! It is my belief that we as Christians sometimes have to make radical steps to go against the "culture of the world" in our own lives.
And this is where my conversation with Brooke comes in...I told her, "Sometimes, we have to make our bodies do what they don't want to do, in order to get them to be where we want them to be." I reminded her of the fact that she is planning to run track in the Spring, and if she continues all of this negative self-talk, it will only make it harder for her to succeed in her efforts.
I went on to say that self-discipline and training don't just pertain to athletics, they pertain to life, especially the Christian life. Jesus reminded his disciples "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matt.16:24
Paul often compared his walk with Christ to running a race. He said in 1 Cor. 9:25 - 27 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever...No, I beat my body, and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
I love how the writer of Hebrews describes "Discipline in a Long-Distance Race" as found in Chapter 12 in The Message translation:
"Do you see what this means--all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get with it. Strip down, start running--and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished the race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed--that exhilirating finish in and with God--he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"
I am definitely NOT suggesting that to be spiritual, you have to be a runner. (Cue the Hallelujah Chorus!) But maybe, just maybe, the Lord is asking you to step outside your comfort zone, and do something that you don't want to do, and this blog post is just the encouragement you needed to do it!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Comforted to be Comforters
I was not a member of a sorority in college. They didn't even have sororities at the nearly all-girl nursing school that I attended. However, becoming the mother of a special needs child, I joined a "sorority" of sorts. This was not a group that I ever had aspirations to be a part of, and it took me a few years to fully accept that I was a member of this group whether I liked it or not.
A long day of training in Dallas with another mother of a special needs child more than 13 years ago caused me to realize how very much I needed this connection with someone who truly KNEW what I was going through. It wasn't long after our first meeting, Marti and I began talking about the idea of starting a support group for other mothers of special needs children. This group called MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) is still going strong today, even though I am rarely able to attend the meetings.
One of the highlights of attending the CMN event last week (mentioned in my previous post), was reconnecting with several mothers who were a part of our MOMS group in those early years. I felt like I was at a family reunion, seeing members of my family that I had not seen in a very long time....I was so happy to see them! Even though we have not spoken in years, it felt like yesterday that we were sharing our struggles, hopes and dreams with one another. We were in the trenches together.
Sadly, two of these moms have lost their precious children since we last saw each other. Listening to their stories of how their children spent their last days was sad, but also full of hope. You see, both of these ladies have the assurance that their children are now WHOLE in every way and they will see them again one day. It was encouraging for me to see how the Lord has sustained these women and given them the strength that they've needed to go on. They are not just surviving, but they are thriving.
I was reminded of how much we women need each other. Two of my favorite Bible verses are 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. We are not comforted to be comfortable but to be comforters!
Whatever you've been through in your life...the good, the bad, and the ugly...God can use it to minister to someone who might be going through something similar IF you'll let Him. With these thoughts fresh in my mind, a friend and I drove to Dallas today to spend some time with a special needs mom whose son is currently in ICU at Children's Medical Center.
A long day of training in Dallas with another mother of a special needs child more than 13 years ago caused me to realize how very much I needed this connection with someone who truly KNEW what I was going through. It wasn't long after our first meeting, Marti and I began talking about the idea of starting a support group for other mothers of special needs children. This group called MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) is still going strong today, even though I am rarely able to attend the meetings.
One of the highlights of attending the CMN event last week (mentioned in my previous post), was reconnecting with several mothers who were a part of our MOMS group in those early years. I felt like I was at a family reunion, seeing members of my family that I had not seen in a very long time....I was so happy to see them! Even though we have not spoken in years, it felt like yesterday that we were sharing our struggles, hopes and dreams with one another. We were in the trenches together.
Sadly, two of these moms have lost their precious children since we last saw each other. Listening to their stories of how their children spent their last days was sad, but also full of hope. You see, both of these ladies have the assurance that their children are now WHOLE in every way and they will see them again one day. It was encouraging for me to see how the Lord has sustained these women and given them the strength that they've needed to go on. They are not just surviving, but they are thriving.
I was reminded of how much we women need each other. Two of my favorite Bible verses are 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. We are not comforted to be comfortable but to be comforters!
Whatever you've been through in your life...the good, the bad, and the ugly...God can use it to minister to someone who might be going through something similar IF you'll let Him. With these thoughts fresh in my mind, a friend and I drove to Dallas today to spend some time with a special needs mom whose son is currently in ICU at Children's Medical Center.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Giving Honor to Whom Honor is Due
Last night was one of those nights that I didn't want to end. My husband can attest to this fact, as he practically had to drag me away from the festivities. It was a night for celebrating!
We were celebrating two very influential people in our lives....our children's Pediatrician Dr. Rick Rogers, and Shirley Gordon, the nurse who helped to pioneer the Special Needs Program at our Pediatric office.
The Celebration honoring Dr. Rick Rogers and Shirley was called "Miracles Begin With You!" and was hosted by a local Tyler family. It was a fundraiser to benefit the Children's Miracle Network of East Texas. CMN funds the Special Needs Clinic that Brianne has been a part of since she was released from the NICU in 1997.
To say that these 2 people and this program has been an oasis in our desert is an understatement! The Special Needs Program was designed in 1996 to provide "health care services which are family-centered, continuous, comprehensive, coordinated, compassionate, and culturally competent" for children with special health care needs and their families (taken from their Mission Statement).
Just a few of the many ways we have benefitted:
A compassionate, caring Physician and Nurse who have contact with all the different Specialists that Brianne sees, and they help us coordinate her services to ensure that there is no gap.
A lengthy annual appointment to go over all of Brianne's medications, therapies, treatments, and any new issues that may have arisen.
The ability to call a Nurse (who knows our special child) directly with a question, concern or need for an appointment without having to leave a voice message.
An annual picnic designed specifically for families with special needs children.
A connection with other special needs families in the East TX area.
A listening ear when no answer is needed...just an opportunity to vent.
I could go on...
But the greatest gift that we have received from Dr. Rogers and Shirley over these past 16 years is the gift of their friendship. These are 2 amazing human beings who know how to love well!! They work long hours and give of themselves continuously and often with little or no recognition at all!
So, Wade and I were thrilled to be able to join with numerous others last night to say, "Thank You for all that you have done!" "Your efforts have not gone unnoticed." "You have made a difference in the lives of us and our most precious posessions, our children!"
I can't believe that I didn't take more pictures last night. I didn't even take a picture of Dr. Rogers, so I had to dig through scrapbooks to find one of him with Brooke a LONG time ago! He is the Pediatrician for all 3 of our kids.
And the picture of Shirley receiving her balloon bouquet last night was taken with "Corn Pop the Clown."
We were celebrating two very influential people in our lives....our children's Pediatrician Dr. Rick Rogers, and Shirley Gordon, the nurse who helped to pioneer the Special Needs Program at our Pediatric office.
The Celebration honoring Dr. Rick Rogers and Shirley was called "Miracles Begin With You!" and was hosted by a local Tyler family. It was a fundraiser to benefit the Children's Miracle Network of East Texas. CMN funds the Special Needs Clinic that Brianne has been a part of since she was released from the NICU in 1997.
To say that these 2 people and this program has been an oasis in our desert is an understatement! The Special Needs Program was designed in 1996 to provide "health care services which are family-centered, continuous, comprehensive, coordinated, compassionate, and culturally competent" for children with special health care needs and their families (taken from their Mission Statement).
Just a few of the many ways we have benefitted:
A compassionate, caring Physician and Nurse who have contact with all the different Specialists that Brianne sees, and they help us coordinate her services to ensure that there is no gap.
A lengthy annual appointment to go over all of Brianne's medications, therapies, treatments, and any new issues that may have arisen.
The ability to call a Nurse (who knows our special child) directly with a question, concern or need for an appointment without having to leave a voice message.
An annual picnic designed specifically for families with special needs children.
A connection with other special needs families in the East TX area.
A listening ear when no answer is needed...just an opportunity to vent.
I could go on...
But the greatest gift that we have received from Dr. Rogers and Shirley over these past 16 years is the gift of their friendship. These are 2 amazing human beings who know how to love well!! They work long hours and give of themselves continuously and often with little or no recognition at all!
So, Wade and I were thrilled to be able to join with numerous others last night to say, "Thank You for all that you have done!" "Your efforts have not gone unnoticed." "You have made a difference in the lives of us and our most precious posessions, our children!"
I can't believe that I didn't take more pictures last night. I didn't even take a picture of Dr. Rogers, so I had to dig through scrapbooks to find one of him with Brooke a LONG time ago! He is the Pediatrician for all 3 of our kids.
And the picture of Shirley receiving her balloon bouquet last night was taken with "Corn Pop the Clown."
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A Day Late...
Yes, I know...Martin Luther King Jr. Day was yesterday...which is when I initially planned to write this blog post. My kids were out of school yesterday...need I say more???
So, here it is, a day late...a few of MLK Jr's great quotes.
“Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” — From his Nobel Prize acceptance speech in Stockhom, 1964.
“I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” — From a speech in Detroit on June 23, 1963.
“…And I’ve looked over and I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man.” — Part of a speech in Memphis, Tennessee, on April 3, 1968, the day before he was assassinated.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” — From “Letter from Birmingham Jail” April 16, 1963.
“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” — From a sermon he delivered in 1956.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others.” — From his 1963 book, “Strength to Love.”
Taken from "The Epoch Times"
So, here it is, a day late...a few of MLK Jr's great quotes.
“Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” — From his Nobel Prize acceptance speech in Stockhom, 1964.
“I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” — From a speech in Detroit on June 23, 1963.
“…And I’ve looked over and I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man.” — Part of a speech in Memphis, Tennessee, on April 3, 1968, the day before he was assassinated.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” — From “Letter from Birmingham Jail” April 16, 1963.
“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” — From a sermon he delivered in 1956.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others.” — From his 1963 book, “Strength to Love.”
Taken from "The Epoch Times"
Friday, January 18, 2013
Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen
I watched the much anticipated Oprah interview with Lance Armstrong last night. It was actually just the first half of her interview; the second half is airing tonight on OWN.
I was caught off guard by the feelings of grief that I experienced as I watched...knot in my stomach...lump in my throat...sadness...much sadness! Why was I feeling such grief for a man I don't even know? Not only do I not know him, but I wouldn't even consider myself a fan of cycling. I certainly admire the incredibly challenging sport that it is, but I've never watched more than a few minutes of any cycling race. We mostly watch and play sports in our home that involve balls.
I guess I was drawn to this interview, because I was curious to see if Lance Armstrong was in fact going to finally come clean and admit his wrong doing, or if he was going to continue lying and denying and blaming?? I was pleasantly suprised to see that HE DID in fact admit to doping over much of his career, especially as it related to his 7 Tour de France wins. And he was careful not to implicate or blame anyone else for his behavior. He took full responsibility for his actions! So, why was I so sad?
The phrase "Oh, how the mighty have fallen" continued to flash through my mind last night. I knew it was from the Bible, but I couldn't remember what story it was related to? I looked it up this morning, and was reminded that it came from 2 Samuel Chapter 1. It was David's Lament for Saul and Jonathan. I was reminded that this lament came after David was notified of the death of Saul and his son Jonathan (who also happened to be David's best friend). I can understand how Jonathan would have mourned for his best friend, but why Saul? King Saul had been chasing after David and trying to take his life for a long time...surely he must have felt some relief. Why was he grieved for Saul?
I think that part of David's grief for Saul may have been over what could have been. He was grieved over the wrong choices that Saul continually made...the choices that eventually led to Saul's demise. I think that David could see the incredible potential that Saul had. As the leader of Israel at that time, he was certainly in a position of godly influence. Saul had the opportunity to be used mightily for God's kingdom. But instead, he allowed disobedience, insecurity and jealousy...SIN to consume his thoughts and actions. First, Saul lost his throne (1 Samuel 15:23) and then he lost his life (I Samuel 31:4).
How do these 2 stories relate?
I think that my grief for Lance Armstrong is similar to David's grief for Saul. I see the incredible potential that Lance had for godly influence. Early in his career, Lance declared himself to be a Christian. He was an amazing athlete, he had a beautiful family, he had the accolades of multitudes, and yet by the sin choices that he made, he eventually lost it all.
There were numerous times along his journey that he could have come clean. The first time that he was accused, he could have used that as an opportunity for confession and repentance...or the second time...or the third time... Instead, he hardened his heart, and not only did he blatantly deny the charges, but he even filed lawsuits against the people that were telling the truth. He truly believed that he would never get caught.
How does a man come to this place?
Sin- We have an enemy of our souls that is constantly tempting us to sin.
Romans 3:23 tells us that "We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."
1 John 1:8 says,"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."
What do we do?
Repent- We must acknowledge our sin and ask for God's forgiveness. I also believe that this involves asking forgiveness from the ones we have sinned against.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
When I see a brother or sister in Christ fall in their sin, I am reminded of my own propensity for sin. I am asking God to continue to bring conviction into my heart where sin might be present, so that it does not grow!
Lord, help me to walk in your light every day!
I was caught off guard by the feelings of grief that I experienced as I watched...knot in my stomach...lump in my throat...sadness...much sadness! Why was I feeling such grief for a man I don't even know? Not only do I not know him, but I wouldn't even consider myself a fan of cycling. I certainly admire the incredibly challenging sport that it is, but I've never watched more than a few minutes of any cycling race. We mostly watch and play sports in our home that involve balls.
I guess I was drawn to this interview, because I was curious to see if Lance Armstrong was in fact going to finally come clean and admit his wrong doing, or if he was going to continue lying and denying and blaming?? I was pleasantly suprised to see that HE DID in fact admit to doping over much of his career, especially as it related to his 7 Tour de France wins. And he was careful not to implicate or blame anyone else for his behavior. He took full responsibility for his actions! So, why was I so sad?
The phrase "Oh, how the mighty have fallen" continued to flash through my mind last night. I knew it was from the Bible, but I couldn't remember what story it was related to? I looked it up this morning, and was reminded that it came from 2 Samuel Chapter 1. It was David's Lament for Saul and Jonathan. I was reminded that this lament came after David was notified of the death of Saul and his son Jonathan (who also happened to be David's best friend). I can understand how Jonathan would have mourned for his best friend, but why Saul? King Saul had been chasing after David and trying to take his life for a long time...surely he must have felt some relief. Why was he grieved for Saul?
I think that part of David's grief for Saul may have been over what could have been. He was grieved over the wrong choices that Saul continually made...the choices that eventually led to Saul's demise. I think that David could see the incredible potential that Saul had. As the leader of Israel at that time, he was certainly in a position of godly influence. Saul had the opportunity to be used mightily for God's kingdom. But instead, he allowed disobedience, insecurity and jealousy...SIN to consume his thoughts and actions. First, Saul lost his throne (1 Samuel 15:23) and then he lost his life (I Samuel 31:4).
How do these 2 stories relate?
I think that my grief for Lance Armstrong is similar to David's grief for Saul. I see the incredible potential that Lance had for godly influence. Early in his career, Lance declared himself to be a Christian. He was an amazing athlete, he had a beautiful family, he had the accolades of multitudes, and yet by the sin choices that he made, he eventually lost it all.
There were numerous times along his journey that he could have come clean. The first time that he was accused, he could have used that as an opportunity for confession and repentance...or the second time...or the third time... Instead, he hardened his heart, and not only did he blatantly deny the charges, but he even filed lawsuits against the people that were telling the truth. He truly believed that he would never get caught.
How does a man come to this place?
Sin- We have an enemy of our souls that is constantly tempting us to sin.
Romans 3:23 tells us that "We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."
1 John 1:8 says,"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."
What do we do?
Repent- We must acknowledge our sin and ask for God's forgiveness. I also believe that this involves asking forgiveness from the ones we have sinned against.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
When I see a brother or sister in Christ fall in their sin, I am reminded of my own propensity for sin. I am asking God to continue to bring conviction into my heart where sin might be present, so that it does not grow!
Lord, help me to walk in your light every day!
Monday, January 14, 2013
A Stumble Down Memory Lane
In keeping with my commitment to continue de-cluttering my home in 2013, I decided to tackle Brianne's closet a few days ago. I must confess that I'd have rather gone to a GYN appointment than begin this overwhelming job...which is exactly why it has taken me so long to get started. However, I typically find that by making the decision to do something, and then beginning it, I will get a surge of energy to complete the task. "GIT 'ER DONE!" as they say in these parts.
This time was different...I would complete one task, and then just sit and stare at the mess...do another, and more staring...this persisted all day long! I began to wonder if this closet was ever going to get put back together?
"Why is this so difficult?" "Why can't I seem to decide what to keep and what to get rid of?" "What am I afraid of?" These are just a few of the many questions that I was asking the Lord throughout the process.
Why So Difficult?
You see, there are a lot of items stored in Brianne's closet that are not currently in use, but bring back many painful memories...memories that I'd just as soon forget! Oxygen tanks and tubing...feeding pump and bags...CPAP machine...syringes from numerous hospital stays...the preemie clothes that she once wore...It's amazing how the sight of these items can take me right back to that place. I feel the raw emotions, I hear the sounds and I can even smell the smells that were so much a part of our lives at that time.
What to Get Rid of, What to Keep?
With the unbelievable cost of medical supplies and the concerns about how the new healthcare laws will affect what our insurance provides, we have become very proficient in recycling items that can be used again. But when do we have enough? How much is too much? How far past the expiration date is it safe to use this? Will we ever need this again?
What am I Afraid of?
This is probably the most important question! To be honest, I am afraid sometimes! I am afraid that there will come a day in the future when Brianne will need these unused items once again. I am afraid that the relative health that Bri has experienced over these past several years will suddenly take a downturn. I know that this is not an irrational fear. Since last year, 2 of Brianne's sweet friends and classmates from school are officially "homebound" and have been added to the sadly growing list of "hospice patients." We have no guarantees that this will not one day be in our future, but we have no reason to believe that it will be in our future either. Basically, Bri's life is no different than ours...only God knows her future!
Got 'Er Done!
With much encouragement from the Lord, I did finally finish the closet project, and He reminded me of several promises in His Word that I can hang on to when I am tempted to "go there" in the future!
Worrying does not change my circumstances nor does it benefit me!
Matthew 6:25 - 34
This is a reminder not to worry about provision in regards to the future. Our responsibility is to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and His responsibility is to provide everything that we need!
His grace is enough for whatever I might face!
2 Corinthians 12:7 - 10
This is reminder from Paul when he asked the Lord 3 times to have the thorn in his flesh removed...But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Fear does not come from God!
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give you a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
Remembering is a Good Thing!
Deut. 5:15
Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
Psalm 77:11
I will remember the deeds of the Lord: yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
This time was different...I would complete one task, and then just sit and stare at the mess...do another, and more staring...this persisted all day long! I began to wonder if this closet was ever going to get put back together?
"Why is this so difficult?" "Why can't I seem to decide what to keep and what to get rid of?" "What am I afraid of?" These are just a few of the many questions that I was asking the Lord throughout the process.
Why So Difficult?
You see, there are a lot of items stored in Brianne's closet that are not currently in use, but bring back many painful memories...memories that I'd just as soon forget! Oxygen tanks and tubing...feeding pump and bags...CPAP machine...syringes from numerous hospital stays...the preemie clothes that she once wore...It's amazing how the sight of these items can take me right back to that place. I feel the raw emotions, I hear the sounds and I can even smell the smells that were so much a part of our lives at that time.
What to Get Rid of, What to Keep?
With the unbelievable cost of medical supplies and the concerns about how the new healthcare laws will affect what our insurance provides, we have become very proficient in recycling items that can be used again. But when do we have enough? How much is too much? How far past the expiration date is it safe to use this? Will we ever need this again?
What am I Afraid of?
This is probably the most important question! To be honest, I am afraid sometimes! I am afraid that there will come a day in the future when Brianne will need these unused items once again. I am afraid that the relative health that Bri has experienced over these past several years will suddenly take a downturn. I know that this is not an irrational fear. Since last year, 2 of Brianne's sweet friends and classmates from school are officially "homebound" and have been added to the sadly growing list of "hospice patients." We have no guarantees that this will not one day be in our future, but we have no reason to believe that it will be in our future either. Basically, Bri's life is no different than ours...only God knows her future!
Got 'Er Done!
With much encouragement from the Lord, I did finally finish the closet project, and He reminded me of several promises in His Word that I can hang on to when I am tempted to "go there" in the future!
Worrying does not change my circumstances nor does it benefit me!
Matthew 6:25 - 34
This is a reminder not to worry about provision in regards to the future. Our responsibility is to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and His responsibility is to provide everything that we need!
His grace is enough for whatever I might face!
2 Corinthians 12:7 - 10
This is reminder from Paul when he asked the Lord 3 times to have the thorn in his flesh removed...But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Fear does not come from God!
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give you a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
Remembering is a Good Thing!
Deut. 5:15
Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with mighty hand and an outstretched arm.
Psalm 77:11
I will remember the deeds of the Lord: yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
I'm Glad I'm not a Dog!
Sometimes the Lord speaks to me in the most unexpected ways. And yesterday was no exception. I was doing my typical 3:30 pm task of tube feeding Brianne, while she was watching another episode of "Clifford the Big Red Dog." We came in on the show a little late, so I'm not sure how or why Charley (Emily-Elizabeth's friend) had become a dog, but he was thrilled about his new status...especially when he found out that dogs can't go to school.
It didn't take long, however, for him to recognize the down-side of being a dog. He wanted to play basketball, but he couldn't get a grip on the basketball, and when he tried to use his mouth...well, you know the rest. His enthusiasm was once again dashed when he went to the soccer field to join in on the game, and Emily-Elizabeth notified him that dogs couldn't be on the field during practice.
Being a dog wasn't nearly as much fun as Charley had previously thought. And when he awoke from his dream to see his humanity in the mirror, he was so relieved.
How many times have I been like Charley? How many times have I thought that JOY could be found in another set of circumstances? In the early years of Bri's life, I helped to start a support group for moms of kids with special needs. I didn't realize at the time how much I needed that group to help me get perspective. I was swimming in a sea of self pity and pain! Seeing what other moms were walking through suddenly made my own experiences seem not quite so tragic. I remember leaving the group one afternoon and thanking the Lord for my situation.
I truly believe that the Key to not allowing ourselves to desire someone else's path in life is GRATITUDE. Lord, help us to be grateful for all of your blessings, as well as the grace that you give us to walk through the hard things.
It didn't take long, however, for him to recognize the down-side of being a dog. He wanted to play basketball, but he couldn't get a grip on the basketball, and when he tried to use his mouth...well, you know the rest. His enthusiasm was once again dashed when he went to the soccer field to join in on the game, and Emily-Elizabeth notified him that dogs couldn't be on the field during practice.
Being a dog wasn't nearly as much fun as Charley had previously thought. And when he awoke from his dream to see his humanity in the mirror, he was so relieved.
How many times have I been like Charley? How many times have I thought that JOY could be found in another set of circumstances? In the early years of Bri's life, I helped to start a support group for moms of kids with special needs. I didn't realize at the time how much I needed that group to help me get perspective. I was swimming in a sea of self pity and pain! Seeing what other moms were walking through suddenly made my own experiences seem not quite so tragic. I remember leaving the group one afternoon and thanking the Lord for my situation.
I truly believe that the Key to not allowing ourselves to desire someone else's path in life is GRATITUDE. Lord, help us to be grateful for all of your blessings, as well as the grace that you give us to walk through the hard things.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Resolutions
When did "resolution" become such a bad word, (especially when it pertains to New Year's Resolutions)? I have been reading and listening to many people's views on this annual tradition over the past week. One of the DJ's on our local Christian radio station called it the "R word" and wouldn't even say it out loud.:) I heard someone else say that the definition of a New Years Resolution is a 3 week long list.
Yes, it is true that many of the things that we resolve to do, begin, and accomplish in the new year may never happen but what about the changes that do happen??
Wade and I typically have a "Get away" in January, as January 31st is the end of the certification period for Brianne's respite nursing hours. We will lose what we don't use, so of course we do our best to spend each and every one of these precious moments. We use this time away to look back at our "resolutions" from the past year, and see how we did. But we spend the majority of our time looking ahead and planning for the new year. We invite the Lord to be a part of our planning, and we spend time praying and asking for His wisdom.
I can sometimes become discouraged by the things that I had every intention of accomplishing but never did. But I am always encouraged by those few decisions that I made that I actually stuck to, and have become a part of my life now. My husband likes to say "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time!" So friends, let's aim at something new this year.
Many people focus on their physical health this time of year and join a gym or start a new diet. But let's not forget about our spiritual and emotional lives. What decisions do we need to make in those areas? Read through the Bible this year? Memorize one Scripture each month? Get more sleep? Make a "date" with a kindred spirit friend to get together every other week? Whatever you decide to do, WRITE IT DOWN or tell a friend, so that you have some accountability.
Statistics say that it takes 3 weeks to establish a habit, so if you start today, by the end of the month, you just might have a brand spankin' new habit! I'd love to hear from you as to what you are resolving to do this year!
Yes, it is true that many of the things that we resolve to do, begin, and accomplish in the new year may never happen but what about the changes that do happen??
Wade and I typically have a "Get away" in January, as January 31st is the end of the certification period for Brianne's respite nursing hours. We will lose what we don't use, so of course we do our best to spend each and every one of these precious moments. We use this time away to look back at our "resolutions" from the past year, and see how we did. But we spend the majority of our time looking ahead and planning for the new year. We invite the Lord to be a part of our planning, and we spend time praying and asking for His wisdom.
I can sometimes become discouraged by the things that I had every intention of accomplishing but never did. But I am always encouraged by those few decisions that I made that I actually stuck to, and have become a part of my life now. My husband likes to say "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time!" So friends, let's aim at something new this year.
Many people focus on their physical health this time of year and join a gym or start a new diet. But let's not forget about our spiritual and emotional lives. What decisions do we need to make in those areas? Read through the Bible this year? Memorize one Scripture each month? Get more sleep? Make a "date" with a kindred spirit friend to get together every other week? Whatever you decide to do, WRITE IT DOWN or tell a friend, so that you have some accountability.
Statistics say that it takes 3 weeks to establish a habit, so if you start today, by the end of the month, you just might have a brand spankin' new habit! I'd love to hear from you as to what you are resolving to do this year!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
A Mother's Love
We went to see "Les Miserables" last night. After reading so many positive comments about it, I could hardly wait! Our dear friend, President and CEO of World Relief, Stephan Bauman, had tweeted on Dec. 31st "Three times I wanted to kneel on the popcorned theater floor. The Gospel according to Victor Hugo." I concur, it was a spiritual experience!
There were so many inspirational scenes in the movie, and so many great messages about mercy, forgiveness, redemption...I could go on. But the part that moved me the most was the love of a mother. Anne Hathaway plays the part of Fantine, and there is nothing that this mother will not do to care for her little girl Cosette. There is a scene in the movie where Fantine is selling her hair, and even a tooth to feed her daughter another day. Love is an incredibly powerful thing!
I thought about how much I love my children. I love each of them equally, and it doesn't matter that only 2 of them are able to tell me verbally how much they love me back. The love I have for my children didn't come from me. I believe that God gives us a glimpse of His love by placing in our hearts a love so fierce that we would take a bullet for any one of our kids.
For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten son... John 3:16
Greater LOVE has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. Matt. 15:13
There were so many inspirational scenes in the movie, and so many great messages about mercy, forgiveness, redemption...I could go on. But the part that moved me the most was the love of a mother. Anne Hathaway plays the part of Fantine, and there is nothing that this mother will not do to care for her little girl Cosette. There is a scene in the movie where Fantine is selling her hair, and even a tooth to feed her daughter another day. Love is an incredibly powerful thing!
I thought about how much I love my children. I love each of them equally, and it doesn't matter that only 2 of them are able to tell me verbally how much they love me back. The love I have for my children didn't come from me. I believe that God gives us a glimpse of His love by placing in our hearts a love so fierce that we would take a bullet for any one of our kids.
For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten son... John 3:16
Greater LOVE has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. Matt. 15:13
Friday, January 4, 2013
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
I got a Keurig for Christmas!! I love it!! Our bosses at work got one for the office gift, and I was telling Wade how much I love it. He tucked away that little nugget of information and shared it with my brother and sister-in-law and mom and step-dad when they inquired about what I might like this year. I was so suprised!
I've been pondering what it is about this handy appliance that I like so much? After all, I already have a tea kettle, a coffee pot, an espresso machine, and no more room on my counter. Before the Keurig, I was able to make every beverage that is offered in these cute little K-cups. I have discovered that what I LOVE most about my Keurig is how quickly I am able to enjoy one of these tasty beverages. Literally, in a matter of seconds, I am able to enjoy a fresh brewed cup of coffee.
Have you noticed that we are not very good at waiting for anything? We have drive- through restaurants, banks, pharmacies....and I recently even heard about drive- through churches. Wow! Isn't that missing the point of "not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together?"
I am not very good at waiting! We parents of special needs children know a little something about waiting. I've often made the comment that "If I had $1 for every hour I have spent in a waiting room, I'd be a rich woman!" I guess we shouldn't be suprised. They are, after all, called "Waiting Rooms" aren't they? I'd prefer to call them "Torture Chambers." If you're not sick when you get there, chances are that you will be when you leave.
God has something to say about waiting...there is great value in waiting!
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isa. 30:18
"They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." Isa. 40:31
"I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Ps. 27:13,14
There are some things that I've been waiting for a LONG time. And some of them I might not see happen this side of eternity, but I will continue to wait on the Lord. And I will trust Him to give me the grace to wait!
I've been pondering what it is about this handy appliance that I like so much? After all, I already have a tea kettle, a coffee pot, an espresso machine, and no more room on my counter. Before the Keurig, I was able to make every beverage that is offered in these cute little K-cups. I have discovered that what I LOVE most about my Keurig is how quickly I am able to enjoy one of these tasty beverages. Literally, in a matter of seconds, I am able to enjoy a fresh brewed cup of coffee.
Have you noticed that we are not very good at waiting for anything? We have drive- through restaurants, banks, pharmacies....and I recently even heard about drive- through churches. Wow! Isn't that missing the point of "not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together?"
I am not very good at waiting! We parents of special needs children know a little something about waiting. I've often made the comment that "If I had $1 for every hour I have spent in a waiting room, I'd be a rich woman!" I guess we shouldn't be suprised. They are, after all, called "Waiting Rooms" aren't they? I'd prefer to call them "Torture Chambers." If you're not sick when you get there, chances are that you will be when you leave.
God has something to say about waiting...there is great value in waiting!
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isa. 30:18
"They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." Isa. 40:31
"I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Ps. 27:13,14
There are some things that I've been waiting for a LONG time. And some of them I might not see happen this side of eternity, but I will continue to wait on the Lord. And I will trust Him to give me the grace to wait!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Taking Things for Granted
6 days ago Wade and our 2 youngest children took their annual flight to NC to spend some time with his family after Christmas. Brianne and I join them every few years, but it is too expensive and too much work to travel with her every year, especially at the height of flu season.
This particular trip has been more challenging than some, as Bri was diagnosed with a respiratory infection the day before they left. This was secondary to having had the flu the previous week. All 3 of our kids got the flu this year, and all 5 of us have had one or more illnesses over this holiday season. Uggghhh!!!
All of this sickness took me by suprise, and I did something that I said I would never do in the early days of Bri's life. After numerous trips back and forth to the hospital with Bri, I told the Lord that I would NEVER take our health for granted again. I would thank Him daily for my health and the health of my family.
Isn't that human nature? When we receive something that we have been asking the Lord for over a long period of time, we have so much gratitude, and we think that we will always feel grateful. But after some time has passed, the "feelings" start to wane, and we find ourselves taking that very thing for granted. Help us Lord!
The other thing that I have taken for granted is my amazing husband. He is such a help with Bri's care that I had forgotten what it was like to have ALL of her care to myself...all those little things that he does for her without drawing any attention to himself. I have realized once again how blessed I really am, and I'm asking the Lord to help me remember this when I'm tempted to fall back into my old ways.
I have also spent some time praying for my friends who are single parents, especially those who are single parents of a special needs child. What a HUGE job they have! Dear Lord, please provide some respite for them! Provide a group of people who will help carry their burden.
Wade and the kids get home tonight, and I pray that I can apply the things I've learned over this little "staycation."
This particular trip has been more challenging than some, as Bri was diagnosed with a respiratory infection the day before they left. This was secondary to having had the flu the previous week. All 3 of our kids got the flu this year, and all 5 of us have had one or more illnesses over this holiday season. Uggghhh!!!
All of this sickness took me by suprise, and I did something that I said I would never do in the early days of Bri's life. After numerous trips back and forth to the hospital with Bri, I told the Lord that I would NEVER take our health for granted again. I would thank Him daily for my health and the health of my family.
Isn't that human nature? When we receive something that we have been asking the Lord for over a long period of time, we have so much gratitude, and we think that we will always feel grateful. But after some time has passed, the "feelings" start to wane, and we find ourselves taking that very thing for granted. Help us Lord!
The other thing that I have taken for granted is my amazing husband. He is such a help with Bri's care that I had forgotten what it was like to have ALL of her care to myself...all those little things that he does for her without drawing any attention to himself. I have realized once again how blessed I really am, and I'm asking the Lord to help me remember this when I'm tempted to fall back into my old ways.
I have also spent some time praying for my friends who are single parents, especially those who are single parents of a special needs child. What a HUGE job they have! Dear Lord, please provide some respite for them! Provide a group of people who will help carry their burden.
Wade and the kids get home tonight, and I pray that I can apply the things I've learned over this little "staycation."
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Beginning
I can't even count the number of times that I've thought about starting this blog. I even went so far as to create a template several months ago, but after a friend began her new blog using the same template, I once again abandoned my efforts...lame excuse...I know!
The wonderful thing about our calendar year is that we get to start over every January. So, on this first day of 2013 I will begin again! I will create a new template. I will place my first blog post on my new blog. I will not place too many expectations on myself to begin with. I will attempt to post something on a regular basis, but I know that I won't be able to do it daily...too much pressure!
My initial desire to write a blog was birthed out of a heart of compassion for other mothers of special needs children. I wanted to be an encouragement to them on their difficult journey because I KNOW what they are going through. But the older I get, the more I realize that there is far more that unites us as women than divides us. And because I am not only the mother of a special needs child, but also of 2 healthy children, I will post about all of the above.
2013 is a new beginning. I hope that today you will take action toward something that you have been intending to do for a long time as well!
The wonderful thing about our calendar year is that we get to start over every January. So, on this first day of 2013 I will begin again! I will create a new template. I will place my first blog post on my new blog. I will not place too many expectations on myself to begin with. I will attempt to post something on a regular basis, but I know that I won't be able to do it daily...too much pressure!
My initial desire to write a blog was birthed out of a heart of compassion for other mothers of special needs children. I wanted to be an encouragement to them on their difficult journey because I KNOW what they are going through. But the older I get, the more I realize that there is far more that unites us as women than divides us. And because I am not only the mother of a special needs child, but also of 2 healthy children, I will post about all of the above.
2013 is a new beginning. I hope that today you will take action toward something that you have been intending to do for a long time as well!
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