"I’ve been thinking about the crazy weather patterns that we’ve been experiencing…the extreme temperatures…changing from air conditioning to heat in the same day…trying to decide whether boots or flip flops would be the better choice for the day…sending the kids to school all bundled up in the morning, only for (at least one of) them to return home wet with sweat because “it’s so hot!” Sometimes it seems like change is the only constant in East Texas weather.
There are times when it seems to me like change is the only constant in our lives as well. We have experienced some amazing blessings and surprises from the Lord this past year, but also some losses and challenges. We are continuing on our journey to embrace the good and the bad, the bitter and the sweet, trusting that God knows what’s best for each one of us. As we read in Job, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be blessed! Job 1:21b We will most likely spend the rest of our lives trying to walk this out, but we want to be like Paul who said in Philippians 4:12, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. Help us Lord!"
It all began with a phone call from the owner of the pediatric nursing agency (that provides respite care for Brianne). "Nina" called and asked if she could come over to talk, and I knew in my gut that this was not just a friendly visit! My fears were confirmed as she informed us that she is retiring, and closing down her nursing agency.
To understand the depth of our relationship, you would have to go back to the very beginning...the first week that Brianne was at home, after spending the initial 9-1/2 months of her life in the NICU. We had been meeting with a local pediatric home care agency for several months discussing discharge planning, and the needs we would have when Brianne was finally sent home. We were assured that everything was in order. This quickly fell apart, when Bri's first night home, the agency notified us that they did not have a nurse to send to us. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, that first week at home was a nightmare in every way!
I began desperately making phone calls, looking for another agency that could provide a night nurse from 10 pm to 6 am, so that I could sleep. After several denials, I spoke with a nurse at an agency that did not currently have a pediatric program, but was very interested in starting one. She was a pediatric nurse by training. This was Nina, our "angel" in the flesh. Nina was still serving the adult population in her present job, so for several months, she would work with adults during the day, and spend the night at our house, taking care of Brianne. She went without sleep for many nights, so that I didn't have to. She eventually hired another nurse to help share the load, but remained one of our primary nurses for a long time.
Over the years, Nina has worked with a few different agencies before she was finally able to open her own. Each time she made a change, we did too. As her company grew, she eventually transitioned from direct patient care to fulfilling the administrative needs of the agency. Even though we didn't "see" her as much after that, we have always "felt" her presence. We have always known that somebody has our backs when it comes to Brianne's care. On the rare occasions that Wade and I have had the opportunity to travel together, Nina has always done her best to provide the nursing care that Brianne has needed to enable us to go. Nina has always treated our kids as her own, and that is why we have always called her "Nina", the name given her by her grandchildren.
As I mentioned in a previous post "He Never Lets Go," I have been trying to mentally prepare for the changes that will be coming when Bri turns 18, and 21! I just wasn't prepared for this change...at least not yet! A feeling of panic washed over me, as I watched Nina's vehicle pull out of our driveway. "Now what are we going to do?" "There will never be another nursing agency that will take care of our needs as well as Nina's." "Lord, HELP!!"
To say that I am not a big fan of change would be a huge understatement! I really like the quote, "If it's not broke, don't fix it." I am quite happy to roll along in my predictable little world, as long as it remains predictable! But one thing I know for sure after walking with the Lord for more than 4 decades, I depend on Him a whole lot less when my life is predictable and planned. Just as soon as the proverbial rug gets pulled out from under me yet again, I am jolted back into the reality that I am dependent upon my Father for my very breath!
There is a reason that this picture hangs in my family room, reminding me on a daily basis,
When I truly quiet myself, I can hear him whisper, "I've got this!"
Another great source of encouragement to my heart at times like this is that HE NEVER CHANGES! He says in Malachi 3:6a I the LORD do not change!
And let me just remind us of a few of the attributes of the God that does not change,
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands. Deuteronomy 7:9
The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedess, rebellion and sin. Exodus 34:6,7
